Choices in a war
by CapMarquez92102124
Summary: Commander Shepard drinks as he thinks about the decision ahead of him. Chose the one who stood by him despite everything or the person who walked away from him when things got hard. Not good at summaries please review


**A/N I do not own Mass effect or Bio-ware. Please review, I welcome any time of feedback.**

Commander Shepard, sat at bar holding his fourth drink, pondering about the war ahead of him; not the one that was currently going on; that was simple the reapers had to die,the one in his heart the one where he had to choose who he really loved between Miranda and Ashley, he had to pick one and break the other's heart.. They were so similar and yet so different. Was he in love with their similitude or with their differences.

Dam this war! Dam dying once! he thought as he drank the rest of his drink and order another one, he should be happy right that he was given a second chance; but that second chance come with a price and that price was Miranda Lawson.

She had somehow managed to get him to fall in love with her. Ashley had been the only thing in his mind as he was dying, feeling his life come to end. With a smirk on his face he remembered the first time he had meet Ashley. It was on Eden Prime he remembered being so drawn to the woman behind the armor who had stood her ground and watched her unit die he remembered that was their first connection point. As well as waking up after the beacon after the nightmares the warnings of destruction. Ashley was so worried and he was nothing more then ass wondering what happened being angry for her being on board and replacing Jerkins so he smiled as he remembered the first time he crossed that fine line Why not? We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want. And her smiled as he recalled her answer "If you expect me to get into a tinfoil miniskirt and some thigh-high boots, I want dinner first. Sir." He laughed and finished his drink and ordered his next one and continued to remise he remembered all the moments when he couldn't sleep and Ashley would talk to him about her mistrust of aliens and her family and poetry.

Shepard even remembered that dreaded day he had discovered he loved her more than he loved being a solider, he reminisced the bad feeling he had when he had to separate his team and her confidence she had to go with the salarians she had to trust them. He remembered hearing that she was in trouble and corned. Kaiden such a good friend and soldier told him it was okay to go help her. He could feel his heart racing as he ran towards her shooting everyone and everything in his path. And when he finally made it to her and could see she was safe he felt better he felt in peace, till the moment when Kaiden told him that he had no choice but to start the bomb. He had chosen a soldier over his mission he had chosen one person.

Then there was that night before Illos Ashley had come to his quarter and confessed her feelings for him and he had promised her that he didn't care about rules and regulations the only thing he really cared for was her.

He finished his drink and ordered another one as he recalled getting blown out of Normandy and watching Ashley escape pod leave and his last dying breath was less painful because she was safe.

He remembered the first time he come too he wanted to see her brown eyes and hear her soft voice telling him he be okay instead he saw Miranda cobalt blue eyes looking at him he could hear Miranda voice so soft and reassuring as he was being both back under. Then the next time when he heard her voice soft again but demanding and worried telling him to get up and fight and guiding him to safety. He remembered finally meeting her, and seeing her shoot someone at point blank no hesitation, no regret.

She was confident and believed in her organization beyond anything and was so professional at first. She showed a loyalty beyond question. She was so cold and mistrusting at first, and he was nothing more than a husk after his resurrection, he wondered and questioned, what had Miranda organization done to him and was it really him, the only thing that would truly make him feel alive again, or in her words good enough was Ashley. He wanted nothing more than to find her, find his sanctuary from his demons.

Was it Miranda's physical appearance that lured him in or Ashley's harsh words that pushed him away… steered him towards Miranda. Even he had to admit Miranda has a nice body and the way she works it could make the most faithful glance at her. He had been physically attracted to her in since the beginning… but her lack of trust in him… her ability to question his order they way she spoke her mind… always defend and provided what was in the best interest for her organization that she so much believed in. It was very much like Ashley with the exception of Miranda wasn't so blunt about it, hey icy blue eyes would reflect how much she disagreed with him.

Family, was another thing they shared one was so prepared to be a martyr to regain her family's honor while the other fought tooth and nail to be different. Yet they both cared for their Siblings, Ashley told him once about how she took time off to protect her sister, Miranda so focused on their mission yet the moment her sister was in danger she dropped everything to help her. As prideful as she was in her genetics and her abilities she was able to ask for help when her sister needed her.

He remembered horizon where Ashley destroyed him emotionally calling him a traitor, but it was Miranda who put him back piece by piece, she brought him back from death a second time by giving him a reason for living. He smiled as he remembered the first time they crossed that line he was accusing her of being jealous for having the illusive man personal attention and then somehow their lips locked as they kissed.

That kiss, she would never truly understand what that kiss meant to him. At that very moment he knew he was playing with fire and would most likely end up burned but he did not care. Miranda could very much be the control ship she wanted him to have implant in and the Illusive Man had denied, but she wasn't he didn't know it at the time but he had also changed her. In that collectors base he heard the illusive man's order to shoot him and he couldn't get himself to shoot her and somehow neither could she.

There he was with a choice to be made, but how could he choose, between someone who didn't trust him at the beginning but left the only life she knew for him or someone who trusted him in the beginning and then doubted him and continued to doubt him who refused to leave her life for him but now was beginning to trust him again.


End file.
